Thursday, May 19, 2011

Nintendo just can't stop playing with themselves (yes, a shameless penis joke)


For as long as there's been home gaming, Nintendo has existed. Infact, if it wasn't for the release of the Nintendo Entertainment System in 1985, the home gaming market would've fizzled out like a bad fart. It's had such a lasting effect on pop-culture that anyone over the age of 50 calls every video game device EVER a "Neen-ten-doo".  Many "Old school" gamers consider their fondest memories playing Turtles in Time on the SNES with their friends, or playing through A Link to the Past for the 15th time. They were at the forefront of innovation, have taken on all comers and, when the dust settled, came out stronger. Their stranglehold on the handheld gaming market for the last 20+ years is a testament to that fact (we'll just ignore the fact Virtual Boy ever existed).

Despite my respect for, and love of Nintendo, the Wii did alot to isolate those who have held every Nintendo controller in their hands since they've been able to. Part of the appeal of the Nintendo was that it did cross-platforms better than Sega and had better first-party games. Don't start sending me hate mail, I loved Sonic and Golden Axe just has much as anybody, but Sega could not come close to the juggernaut that was Mario. Nintendo had, and still has, a strong showing when it comes to first-party titles; Mario & Co, Legend of Zelda, Kirby, Metroid, Donkey Kong, basically, any series that's represented in Super Smash Bros....however, that's their only strength. Third-party support started to wane on Nintendo consoles with the Gamecube, by that time, Sony and Microsoft had a more than a foothold in the industry, and was proving to be more of a challenge than Sega. Microsoft had the more powerful system, and, Playstation was on its second console, and already had a well-established player base (I distinctly remember my friend skipping school the day it was released). With what the Playstation 2 lacked in power, sitting in last place of the three, it had a large library of high quality 3rd party titles, the biggest obviously being Metal Gear (which got its start on Nintendo for those too young to remember.)

It wasn’t just the lack of third-party titles that was an issue, but hardware features as well. Both Microsoft and Sony had DVD playback capabilities on their system...Nintendo didn't; there were a few Phillips/Nintendo Gamecubes created for that purpose, but it never went anywhere. Second, online gaming started to get a big push during this generation, with Xbox Live taking off and a number of Playstation titles with online play, most notable being SOCOM....Nintendo, however, didn't feel the need to implement the feature with the Gamecube. Nintendo became that old curmudgeon who was stuck in the past, and referred to everything new, and by proxy unnecessary, as "new-fangled hooey".  With the release of the Wii, Nintendo proved again they can be the leaders of innovation, with the introduction of motion based game play….however, they were still living in the past. The Wii still lacked DVD playback, a feature that is standard on the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 out of the box, and their online play left a lot to be desired. They at least took a step in the right direction by enabling online play for a number of their titles…but the execution was way off with their system of having to exchange friend codes for each individual game and not console, as opposed to Live and PSN with the ability to hop into and out of games that are online-enabled.

Some people would describe the Wii's game selection as "cartoony" and "childish", and....they'd be correct, however, not in the disrespectful manner in which they're implying. Nintendo has always had the ability to appeal to the younger generation with some...let's face it...extremely shitty games. It's almost as if Nintendo has reserved themselves to the fact that their system, while having the potential to be entertaining to all levels of gamers, appealed mostly to families and beginners. Personally, I have no interest in playing any party-esque game featuring a roster of Nickelodeon characters that DON’T involve Ren & Stimpy, or Rocco and pals, as I’m sure most of you don’t either, but you’re forgetting one important fact….we’re all adults now. Those of us who remember the “Golden Age of Gaming” are holding Nintendo to the standard of our happy childhood memories, expecting them to captivate us with every single game they release, and, quite frankly, that’s bullshit. Part of becoming an adult is growing up in some aspect… though I still eat sugary cereal and, if I could find one large enough, would drive a Pow-pow-power wheel down the hallway of my apartment building to-DAY, but our brains are no longer wired to only be satisfied with bright colors and happy music. I used to think Mickey Mousecapades was the shit when I was younger, then, on a relatively recent trip down memory lane, I dug out my old NES, performed the standard ritual of preparing the cartridge, popped it into the deck, started playing, and not ten minutes in, I questioned my own intelligence as a child as to how I could ever have liked this.

It's safe to say that those of us who grew up with Nintendo, have outgrown most of what Nintendo has to offer. Yes, we'll still go back experience the lastest adventure in Hyrule, and perform another monumental cock-block on King Koopa, but overall, it'll leave us severely disappointed. Is it Nintendo's fault? Absolutely not, Nintendo will continue to do what it's done for the last 26 years: instill fond memories in a younger generation of gamers, allowing them to state 20 years into the future that Nintendo isn't what it used to be. Now, I know I stated their lack of online play had no p, but that just meant that you played multiplayer Wii the same way you played multiplayer NES, call up your friends and invite them over how many of us have not had a blast watching drunken friends attempting to swing for the fences in Wii Sports?

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