WTS: Loving friends and family for a single, 3-day E3 Pass

Nerd Mecca is a mere two-weeks away, and with it, many of us will be glued to G4, Gametrailers, or various Twitter feeds to get up to the minute hype about all the new projects and releases by the big three and numerous developers. To us, this is our Super Bowl, Final Four, World Cup, and the World Curling Championship rolled into one. We’ll froth at the mouth when games we’ve been awaiting sequels to are announced, or IPs based on comics or shows we loved as children are transferred to a new media – personally, I was ecstatic that the folks over at High Moon Studios made a Transformer game that was not only NOT complete shit, but was extremely fun to play, and was truthful to the series (also, Peter Cullen as Prime doesn’t hurt). So, in leading up to the event, I’ll break down of some the known, and wishes that gamers want to see.

Activision:


Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 – It’s pretty much guaranteed that with each new year, we’ll get a new Call of Duty, with each of the developing studios, Infinity Ward (not for long) and  Treyarch switching off. What we can expect for Modern Warfare 3, if the newest trailer is any indication, the Ultranationalists, while thwarted in DC, appears to not only be making headway in other US cities (NYC being featured) but with some other major Western Cities in Paris, Berlin, and London. Considering how Warfare 2 ended, we can pretty much call it a “lock” that Soap MacTavish will return as one of the protagonists alongside his mentor Captain Price, Also, no telling if if Pvt. Rameriez will be single-handily saving the city of New York just as he apparently saved the entire DC metropolitan area (the Army was really only there for show). Infinity Ward does a great job of telling a story via a medium that some feel is not the place to weave such tales (the creator of the Sims for instance). In my opinion, the “Shock and Awe” mission from the first Modern Warfare was one of the best scripted events in recent gaming memory that I had ever witnessed.  However, the story isn’t what brings most CoD players to the table, with multiplayer being their focal point. Details are sketchy at best, we’re fairly certain we’ll see the return of the “leveling system” that has been present in every CoD game since Modern Warfare, however, it’s unclear if the version from Black Ops will be used where players are able to purchase whichever gun, perk, secondary they wish, so long as they have the necessary funds. Certainly, this would be the best option as it gives players of all skill levels a chance to start on equal footing, not being relegated to the relatively weak arsenal present at the beginning, while going against people who’ve unlocked the “golden gun of headshot explosions”. We know that Spec Ops is returning...so...best you find a friend capable of covering your ass and not running off to some obscure corner of the map; as well as a new mode: Survival. We can pretty much assume will be along the same line of previous Zombie game modes, pitting players against wave after wave of enemies until you're left with a pistol facing off against a tank a la Tom Hanks in Saving Private Ryan....only you won't go out like such a bad ass, and will merely mutter curses into your mic blaming all your teammates for the loss....tool.



Capcom:

No doubt that Capcom is going to release significant information about the up and coming title Street Fighter x Tekken (take note of the bromance). From the looks of things, the animation style is going to be based off Street Fighter IV which give the characters beautiful water-color look, as if the game is being painted right before your eyes. They’ve released a few teaser cinematics and a few that hinted at actual game play, which, if you’ve ever played Street Fighter, isn’t too drastic of a change. This would be the opportunity to reveal details about the game’s release date, roster, ‘plot’ (a term used loosely regarding fighting games), and details on how to fit the Tekken characters’ moveset into a 2D environment. From the game play trailer it looks as if SF x Tekken is going the route of previous 'Vs' titles and is incorporating tag-team battles, and, judging by an earlier trailer, it looks as if teammates can perform a sort of 'delayed team hyper combo' (Marvel vs Capcom phrases, keep up), it'll be interesting to see if these DTHC are relegated only when characters are of the same 'team' e.g all Street Fighter, or if Capcom is going to go the distance and create quite a large number of these manuvers with every possible character combination in the game.

The other game was announced at 2010's Tokyo Game show and has gotten a few people intrigued. Asura's Wrath is Capcom's next foray in the "Beat the ever loving shit out of everything that moves, and for good measure, hit it again" genre. Wrath deals with the standard story of betrayal that we saw in God of War; once a respected and worshiped deity, his brethren were a tad jealous of his godly prowess and sought to strip him of his godhood, and cast him out....and they succeed. Asura, now extremely pissed off, and is out for....whatever it is Gods ooze out when their arm is ripped off...., and learned to harness his rage, turning it into a weapon to face the armies of the Gods themselves. He'll dismember, behead, eviscerate,  and prance about (in a manly covered in the blood of his enemies way) as he extracts his vengeance. Gameplay here won't come as a shock to anyone who's ever played God of War, Dante's Inferno, Ninja Gaiden, and the list goes on and on. Thankfully, Capcom has proven themselves in games centered around kicking copious amounts of ass with their releases of Onimusha in the early 2000s, and Devil May Cry in the latter half of the decade. So long as Capcom doesn't stray too far from their formula, Asura's Wrath will certainly prove to be a blood-gorging good time.

PS: Even the statues in this game can explode in bloody goodness.


Be sure to check back in the coming days for more E3 preview type...writing....stuffs.

A Gamer's guide to looting during the Rapture

Ok folks, I’m sure that you’ve all heard by now, the end of times is upon us, and I’m sure you’re laying out your best vestments for your journey.  Let’s be honest here, about 90% of us are damned to hell anyway, so don’t go making plans for your ascent into heaven…you’ll be sorely disappointed. So, why not take this opportunity to get all the shit you ever wanted but couldn’t afford due to it being so frivolous? Most people will be losing their minds when fire starts raining down from the sky, and will be wandering around aimlessly for the subsequent 5-months, waiting for the world to end, but not us gamers. We’re used to going long stints without any form of human interaction, so, in during these 5months, why not take this chance to play all those games you’ve always wanted to, but couldn’t afford with a little post-rapture looting?

Ideally, you’ll want at least one looting buddy, which enables you to hit multiple locations and carry more shit. First you need to think about the necessities: power, output devices (televisions), various cheese-based snacks, and carbonated beverages.

Step 1: Make a list of the consumable necessities you’ll need. If you go in without a plan you’ll end up leaving with shit you don’t need, like dishwashing liquid, cans of Alpo, and abandoned children. Making the list ensures you can dash in and dash out, enabling you to quickly reach your next looting destination. Some suggestions for grocery store looting include: Cheez-Its, Doritos, Spam, paper towels (we’re not savages), Mountain Dew, and chocolate chip cookies. 

Step 2:  Next, take stock of your current gaming collection. Do you have all the systems that are currently available? If no, add those that are missing to your list. What about all the corresponding peripherals? Add those to the list. Now, for the “meat”, organize your games into four separate piles: Completed, In-Process, Haven’t touched, & Complete pieces of shit. In a Post-Rapture world, the governments of the world will have collapsed, leaving all forms of currency worthless, and leaving those of us left behind to implement a bartering system, hopefully, your collection is large enough where you have no less than 35 completed games, if not, it will force you to loot extra, which could become a hindrance depending on how many games you wish to loot for personal use. Once those have been organized, head on over to your favorite video game peddling website and take your time perusing their catalogue. While you may feel rushed with it being the end of the world and all, now is not the time to get sloppy and forget items., the last thing you want to do is have to venture out into the outside world the following days (we’ll touch on this more later). Now, I can’t tell you which games you should pick up, this is all personal preference, try to remember all those games you wanted to play, but were scared away by shitty reviews, felt you were paying too much for a rehash, was waiting for the price to drop, or just too lazy to go to the store. To give you an idea for each category, these are a sampling of what’s on my list, Golden Axe: Beast Rider (Shitty-- but interested), New Super Mario Bros (Rehash), Heavy Rain (I’m a cheap bastard) Donkey Kong Country Returns (Best Buy is more than a ½ mile away).

Step 3: Now that we’ve got food and games covered, the next are the technical supplies needed: mainly power generators.  Now, folks in the suburbs may have it easier as a Lowes, Home Depot, or some other kind of home improvement store is in a fairly close distance, and can easily loot one. However, I suggest you stop here first as I’m certain these will be a hot commodity amongst non-gamers for their cappuccino makers and iron lungs. For those living in the city, it gets a bit difficult but you have a few options ahead of you:

a)      You could always build a generator. While I don’t have the logistics of what is needed, I’m certain if you watch old episodes of MacGuyver you’ll stumble across something. I will say this much, a hamster, gerbil, or other small animal, would not be able to keep up with the power output needed to run everything, as a result, you may be forced to kidnap a number of small children (should you have not created any yourself), just make certain you make concessions for that while looting food.

b)      Now, the obvious choice is flat out taking someone else’s, chances are you’d have to travel out to the suburbs, so, in place of looting on in the initial hours after the Rapture, I suggest you go for a larger pickup, or semi w/ trailer if possible.*

*Pro Tip: Hospitals generally have an overabundance of power generators, since those left behind are doomed to hell for all eternity anyway, there’s no need to prolong their suffering in this world. Infact, in your roundabout way of murdering them by stealing these generators, it’s possible you inadvertently get them a pass into Limbo/Purgatory. You should take this opportunity to pat yourself on the back for being such a great humanitarian. Kudos!

Now, it’s important to remember that you will not be the only person taking to the streets for looting, and should be prepared to arrive a few hoursearly to the location  (like Black Friday, but with more damnation) where you plan to kick off your looting. Since Rapture starts at 6pm, most stores will be open, so you can simply mingle about with an empty cart, and, come 6:01, start piling things into your cart using the “Sweeping your arm across the shelf” method.

Additionally, there are unconfirmed reports about a Zombie Apocalypse taking place immediately after the initial events of the Rapture. Be certain that you have, at the very least, a blunt object in your possession that is capable of crushing skulls, should you have a long bladed weapon fit for decapitating, even better. I strongly suggest you take the time between now and the Rapture to get in as many rounds of Left 4 Dead as you possibly can. This virtual zombie apocalypse simulator will help refine your reflexes, help you identify zombie classifications, and what symptoms you should be on the lookout for infection.  

If all goes well, you can ride out the end of days in relevant comfort, just make certain you take frequent gaming breaks to clear out any zombies which may have found their way on to the premises.

Nintendo just can't stop playing with themselves (yes, a shameless penis joke)

For as long as there's been home gaming, Nintendo has existed. Infact, if it wasn't for the release of the Nintendo Entertainment System in 1985, the home gaming market would've fizzled out like a bad fart. It's had such a lasting effect on pop-culture that anyone over the age of 50 calls every video game device EVER a "Neen-ten-doo".  Many "Old school" gamers consider their fondest memories playing Turtles in Time on the SNES with their friends, or playing through A Link to the Past for the 15th time. They were at the forefront of innovation, have taken on all comers and, when the dust settled, came out stronger. Their stranglehold on the handheld gaming market for the last 20+ years is a testament to that fact (we'll just ignore the fact Virtual Boy ever existed).

Despite my respect for, and love of Nintendo, the Wii did alot to isolate those who have held every Nintendo controller in their hands since they've been able to. Part of the appeal of the Nintendo was that it did cross-platforms better than Sega and had better first-party games. Don't start sending me hate mail, I loved Sonic and Golden Axe just has much as anybody, but Sega could not come close to the juggernaut that was Mario. Nintendo had, and still has, a strong showing when it comes to first-party titles; Mario & Co, Legend of Zelda, Kirby, Metroid, Donkey Kong, basically, any series that's represented in Super Smash Bros....however, that's their only strength. Third-party support started to wane on Nintendo consoles with the Gamecube, by that time, Sony and Microsoft had a more than a foothold in the industry, and was proving to be more of a challenge than Sega. Microsoft had the more powerful system, and, Playstation was on its second console, and already had a well-established player base (I distinctly remember my friend skipping school the day it was released). With what the Playstation 2 lacked in power, sitting in last place of the three, it had a large library of high quality 3rd party titles, the biggest obviously being Metal Gear (which got its start on Nintendo for those too young to remember.)

It wasn’t just the lack of third-party titles that was an issue, but hardware features as well. Both Microsoft and Sony had DVD playback capabilities on their system...Nintendo didn't; there were a few Phillips/Nintendo Gamecubes created for that purpose, but it never went anywhere. Second, online gaming started to get a big push during this generation, with Xbox Live taking off and a number of Playstation titles with online play, most notable being SOCOM....Nintendo, however, didn't feel the need to implement the feature with the Gamecube. Nintendo became that old curmudgeon who was stuck in the past, and referred to everything new, and by proxy unnecessary, as "new-fangled hooey".  With the release of the Wii, Nintendo proved again they can be the leaders of innovation, with the introduction of motion based game play….however, they were still living in the past. The Wii still lacked DVD playback, a feature that is standard on the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 out of the box, and their online play left a lot to be desired. They at least took a step in the right direction by enabling online play for a number of their titles…but the execution was way off with their system of having to exchange friend codes for each individual game and not console, as opposed to Live and PSN with the ability to hop into and out of games that are online-enabled.

Some people would describe the Wii's game selection as "cartoony" and "childish", and....they'd be correct, however, not in the disrespectful manner in which they're implying. Nintendo has always had the ability to appeal to the younger generation with some...let's face it...extremely shitty games. It's almost as if Nintendo has reserved themselves to the fact that their system, while having the potential to be entertaining to all levels of gamers, appealed mostly to families and beginners. Personally, I have no interest in playing any party-esque game featuring a roster of Nickelodeon characters that DON’T involve Ren & Stimpy, or Rocco and pals, as I’m sure most of you don’t either, but you’re forgetting one important fact….we’re all adults now. Those of us who remember the “Golden Age of Gaming” are holding Nintendo to the standard of our happy childhood memories, expecting them to captivate us with every single game they release, and, quite frankly, that’s bullshit. Part of becoming an adult is growing up in some aspect… though I still eat sugary cereal and, if I could find one large enough, would drive a Pow-pow-power wheel down the hallway of my apartment building to-DAY, but our brains are no longer wired to only be satisfied with bright colors and happy music. I used to think Mickey Mousecapades was the shit when I was younger, then, on a relatively recent trip down memory lane, I dug out my old NES, performed the standard ritual of preparing the cartridge, popped it into the deck, started playing, and not ten minutes in, I questioned my own intelligence as a child as to how I could ever have liked this.

It's safe to say that those of us who grew up with Nintendo, have outgrown most of what Nintendo has to offer. Yes, we'll still go back experience the lastest adventure in Hyrule, and perform another monumental cock-block on King Koopa, but overall, it'll leave us severely disappointed. Is it Nintendo's fault? Absolutely not, Nintendo will continue to do what it's done for the last 26 years: instill fond memories in a younger generation of gamers, allowing them to state 20 years into the future that Nintendo isn't what it used to be. Now, I know I stated their lack of online play had no p, but that just meant that you played multiplayer Wii the same way you played multiplayer NES, call up your friends and invite them over how many of us have not had a blast watching drunken friends attempting to swing for the fences in Wii Sports?

Sony to gamers: "PSN is back up! Now stop yelling at us because you were forced to go outside!"

I figured what better way to kick off the inaugural blog post than to discuss the big news from earlier this week and take part in the "Playstation Network is back up" hoot-nanny. For those of you gamers, or 'normal' folk, who have been living under a rock for the last month, the free service, Playstation Network (or PSN for we lazy-types), was taken offline after a malicious attack which sought to either bring to light Sony's terrible security policies....or fuck with the minds of all Playstation gamers the world over as they were deprieved their daily dose of calling into question other gamers sexuality while at the same time screaming obscenities in the mic, has finally come to a resolution. No word yet on which group is responsible for the attack, but most scuttle suggests that it was the handy work of a group who are members of an image board located somewhere in the vast wilderness of the internet. Sony did come out and say earlier this month that user's personal data, such as name, addresses, credit card numbers, and sexual fetishes was compromised, but, thus far, has not released actual numbers of those who are affected by the heist. PSN users were sent an email explaining the situation, and Sony, attempting to right the wrongs, presented information to their users on how they can verify if they are the victim of identity theft, as the struck a deal with an online security firm for it's users --which goes without saying is free to PSN users for the immediate future.

In an effort to appease the disappointed users, Sony has done what can only be describe as "throwing them a bone", where it was leaked earlier this week that a handful of games would be available for download from the PSN store, with smash Playstations hits such as LittleBigPlanet and InFamous, to some PSN arcade games, as well as few PSP titles for those in possession of one. Additionally, all PSN (free) users will be given a free month or so of the new PSN - Plus network, which offers some exclusive content not available to the free users - content which won't be available to the user when their account reverts back to 'freeloader' mode. The same 'free' period will also be offered to those users who subscribe to PSN+, with them still being able to keep their shit. 

All things considered, I feel Sony is actually being rather gracious in their "We're sorry our shit broke" deal. As I mentioned, PSN is a free service, and, while I don't have the exact numbers of paying PSN subscribers, I'm willing to bet it comes nowhere close the number of free PSN users. Offering any sort of 'refund' for a free service is seriously committed to their user base, well aware that it's the players who keep them going.


In other "Big News", Activision released the teaser trailer for the next installment in the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare series, unexpectedly titled "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3" (that was sarcasm by the way folks). Judging by the teaser, it looks as if the Ultranationalists gave up on their conquest of Washington DC, and moved on to the next logical target: New York City. The clip opens with some chatter by American forces who appear to be the calmest individuals ever as the largest city in America is under attack and they're chatting as if they're on some routine training assignment. Of course, it's probably why I'm not in the military as if I were ever in a situation such as that, my squad's position would be given away as I a let loose with a string of obscenities for every shell that explodes around me. After a few quick glimpses of the amphibious assault on NYC, the trailer closes out with some Russian chatter, which I'm sure has already been  translated one of the many Youtube pages dedicated to this, good luck finding it amongst all the "Call of duty sux" posts and what-not. Now, what I bet you didn't know, is that they released a few more trailers that featured more cities than just New York:

London
Paris
Berlin

If all goes well, we can be killing each other before Christmas 2011